Feb 28, 2013; Glendale, AZ, USA; Los Angeles Dodgers third baseman Juan Uribe (5) follows through on a swing during the third inning against the Los Angeles Angels at Camelback Ranch. Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Report: Los Angeles Dodgers Trade Juan Uribe to the Yankees, Please

It’s too good of news to be true. It can’t be true in fact. But after the Los Angeles Angels traded Vernon Wells to the New York Yankees yesterday, the Dodger blue front offices have been hard at work. In a reactionary move more trypical to Angels owner Arte Moreno, the Dodgers have moved Juan Uribe to the New York Yankees.

In a joint statement released by the New York Yankees front office and the Statue of Liberty, they announced

Give me your tired, and your filthy rich, your huddled masses, your Vernon Wells’, and your Juan Uribe’s.

The Angels couldn’t be the only team getting significantly better by dumping their highly paid, unwanted players, can they? Reportedly Yankees GM Brian Cashman showed a mild amount of common sense by rejecting Ned Colletti‘s offer. But after being reminded  of Uribe’s versatility to play all the infield positions, albeit poorly, along with the combination of the pain medications Cashman is on, Cashman was hooked. Hook, line, and sinker to the bottom of the AL East. The Yankees even agreed to take on the remaining $8 million of Uribe’s contract, plus pay the Dodgers an additional $5 million, citing “If the Angels get $13 million, fair is fair, so can the Dodgers.”

The rest of the league’s General Managers were left scrambling, trying to take advantage of this once in a solve all of your problems opportunity of a lifetime. Padres GM Josh Byrnes called to to see if the Yankees would take on 25-40 players. But the Miami Marlins beat them to the punch making a similar call for everyone but  Giancarlo Stanton, in exchange for a pair of Subway footlongs, and two games on the Yankees television network.

It’s unlikely that anyone would take on Juan Uribe, but the same was said about Vernon Wells. It seems equally unlikely that the Dodgers will keep writing him in on the lineup card. It’s not April 1st is it?

Tags: Juan Uribe Los Angeles Angels Los Angeles Dodgers Vernon Wells

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