Who’s Got Game: Candace or Kwame

Let’s face it.

I’ve made WNBA jokes.

You’ve made WNBA jokes.

But Candace Parker of the Los Angeles Sparks is no joke.

Anyone that plays through a dislocated shoulder to lead his/her team to a victory is a pretty solid player. Therefore, I was certainly impressed with the 6’4″ Parker who scored 34 points on 12 of 19 shooting in her professional debut against the Phoenix Mercury, the defending WNBA Champions. She also filled out the stat sheet with 12 rebounds, 8 assists, 2 steals, and a block. Oh, and did I mention that she is still wearing a brace on her shoulder?

Of course she did it against girls, but if you had to pick either her or a Knicks player for your team, you might be inclined to take Parker.  In fact, I think I might pick Candace Parker over several NBA players, maybe even the great Kwame Brown.

Over the next several weeks, I will be comparing the Sparks rookie to many of the NBA’s top players such as Kwame Brown, Smush Parker, and Darius Miles. Parker and her NBA opponent will be judged on the following five categories: shooting, rebounding, passing, dribbling, and leadership. So in our first edition, we will compare the Sparks sensation toward the famous Laker and fan favorite Kwame Brown.

The Breakdown
Name: Kwame Brown
Height: 6’11”
Weight: 270
College: None
Team(s): Memphis Grizzlies, Los Angeles Lakers, Washington Wizards
Position: Center

Name: Candace Parker
Height: 6’4″
Weight: n/a
College: Tennessee
Team: Los Angeles Sparks
Position: Forward

Shooting
Outside of a layup, I do not believe that Kwame Brown has ever made a jumpshot. Seriously, he missed so many layups as a Laker and was incapable of finishing anywhere near the rim. On the other hand Parker is a phenomenal shooter, who made 12 of 19 shots in her debut on Saturday. During her college career at Tennessee, she shot well over 50% in all three seasons as a Volunteer. With her ability to score at will and shoot at a high percentage, Candace is clearly the better shooter. Edge: Candace

Rebounding
While rebounding maybe Kwame’s strong suit, he is still just an average guy when it comes to crashing the boards. His career average on the boards is 5.7 but this year he averaged just 4.8 rebounds per game. Candace Parker is certainly a solid rebounder, but compared to Kwame’s 6’11” frame, she would likely get pushed around a little. Edge: Kwame

Passing
It took me five months to actually discover that Kwame has made an assist in his illustrious NBA career. However, to first make a pass, Kwame would first half to catch the ball, which is not a likely scenario. In fact, most Laker fans are quick to note that Kwame’s hands are actually smaller then most mens’ testicles. Because of his inability to first catch it a pass, it is entirely impossible for Kwame to make a pass. Judging on the basis that Candace can already catch the ball, then she is far and away the better passer. Edge: Candace

Ballhandling
Watching Kwame dribble is equivalent to watching a Lorenzo Mate-Real model for a beauty pageant. Both are dangerous and scary events. In fact, every time Kwame does dribble the ball it ends up jump starting the opposing team’s fastbreak. On the other hand, Candace looks like a seasoned veteran while handling the basketball. Over her illustrious college career in Knoxville, she rarely turned the ball over and was able to beat her defenders off the dribble. She is able to see the court and put her teammates in good scoring opportunities as evident by her eight assists on Saturday. Edge: Candace

Leadership
Kwame being a leader. Think about that for a second.
Edge: Candace