NCAA Football 2009 Rules and Etiquette

The highly anticipated NCAA Football 09 will be made available for purchase on Tuesday July 15th, and in honor of its release, I have decided to write the the ultimate NCAA guide for the rules and proper etiquette for the game.

Settings

• Quarter Length: 3 or 5 minutes
• Difficulty: All-American or Heisman
• Penalty Frequency: Please keep normal. I know some guys who turn celebration penalties off, but I don’t want to see a dance after every single first down.

Picking Teams

• The host always gets first choice when it comes to the selection of teams, determination of the home stadium, and weather.
• You cannot play with the same teams. You are a major idiot if you even suggest such an idea.
• Picking a non-BCS team like Hawaii or BYU means your soft. By doing so, you also fully admit that you’re lame.
• Florida and USC are off limits. EA always makes either the Trojans or the Gators the best overall team. Therefore, you’re pathetic if you have to use either team to win. In order to show that you’re the superior player, use a good but not unstoppable team like Missouri, Oklahoma, or Virginia Tech.  

Tyrod Taylor Rule

• If you have a slow white guy at QB (Sean Glennon), and you have a faster, non-white guy as a backup (Tyrod Taylor), you can’t bring in the backup unless your starter gets injured or plays terribly after at least one full quarter. This is a cheap, cowardly move to just scramble with Vince Young-like players. Don’t do it!

Calvin Johnson Rule

• If you have an impact receiver like Texas Tech’s Michael Crabtree don’t throw it to him on every single play. Two years ago, I played a guy who played with Georgia Tech and threw it to Calvin Johnson on every single play. It makes you look like a seven year old if you have to throw it to your star receiver on every single play. 

Other In-Game Rules

• Don’t run the same blitz play every single down. This isn’t Madden 1996. You have more than one play. 
• On offense, feel free to use the same play over and over, but you’re going to be beaten badly if you do. So, it’s really your call.
• No previewing your plays. I hate it when guys have to check their plays before the snap because it shows they aren’t prepared and it delays the game. Check the play before you select it.

Smack Talk and Celebrations

• Feel free to talk trash as long as you want, but if you start losing don’t get upset if your buddy starts talking back.
• As long as you don’t mind your buddy jumping for joy, you’re free to celebrate as much as you want.

Breaks/Timeouts

• Do you really have to use the restroom or get a quick snack? Or, is this some way for you to stop your friend’s momentum and readjust your strategy? You can only take a break if it’s okay with both parties. However, at halftime, you’re more than welcome to leave the gaming area for a trip to the john or quick stop in the kitchen.

Leaving the Game

• Are you getting killed? Down by 28 after the first quarter? You can whine all you want, but you’re in it until the other party gives up too. Expect to get routed.
• If you’re good enough to build up a 28 point lead than feel free to celebrate ven after your tenth touchdown of the night.